Commando

Commando
FOX (October 4, 1985)
Director: Mark L. Lester
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, James Olson

View the trailer


*Don't worry, this review is completely free of spoilers*

It's always difficult judging a movie by its trailer when you've already seen the full movie, but I thought there was just something classy about starting off with the mega roller coaster that is Commando. But good reviewers are able to rise above preconceived perceptions of movies and deliver an objective press release, so I feel I can do the same.

The trailer for Commando, like many other movies released before the early-90s, is characterized by the fact that it gives away practically the whole movie. (This one is nothing compared to The Graduate's trailer, but that's another review for another time.) It starts off by playing a sort of synthesized pseudo-Caribbean beat, foreshadowing the later conflict between man's nature and free will that will soon take place on some random island nation. From there, the narrator goes into setting up the plot of the movie: namely, Arnold is a badass, some other badasses kidnapped his daughter (who, the narrator reassures us, "is the only thing he will kill for"), and so he has to go kick some ass.

The first act ends with a montage of Arnold putting on his killing gear, accompanied with the tagline "Somewhere, somehow, someone's gonna pay." The trailer then goes into the intermission by showing the movie's logo, finally putting to rest any lingering fears that you might accidentally be watching the trailer to Some Like It Hot.

Fortunately for all of us, someone--more than one, actually--does pay. Commando is less about plot than it is about showing Arnold's massive build or showing said massive build killing things. However, Act 2 of the trailer is infinitely more light-hearted than the first; by this point, Arnold's acting chops are fully realized, and he goes from just being a mindless destroyer of worlds to a mindless stand-up comedian. Arnold's timing is pitch-perfect, and this bit of levity fleshes out the trailer and makes it feel more complete.

Artistically, the trailer also comes into its own in the second act when the pseudo-Caribbean drums are made louder, and the movie's sounds are muted. Unfortunately, the drumbeats don't often sync up completely with what's happing on screen, and this tends to pull the viewer out of the trailer-made reality and into this one. However, this is a minor complaint, especially because the music changes toward the climax to become more dramatic; this is, of course, used along with the visuals and the deep-voiced narrator to set the stage for what is quite possibly the most dramatic line in the trailer: Arnold's crazy-eyed, knife-wielding intonation, "Let's party." Sends shivers up your back.






Remember, dear reader, when I promised this review would be spoiler-free?

I lied.