Secret Things

Secret Things
First Run Features (January 2, 2004)
Director: Jean-Claude Brisseau
Cast: Coralie Revel, Sabrina Seyvecou, Roger Mirmont, Fabrice Deville

View the trailer


One of the greatest things about foreign movies is that they're usually just softcore (and sometimes hardcore) pornos. I mean, check out this synopsis of the French movie Secret Things:

Two young women find themselves struggling to survive in Paris, street-wise Nathalie, a stripper, and naïve Sandrine, a barmaid. Together, they discover that sex can be used to their advantage, and pleasure. Both find positions in the office of a large bank, where bored, under-stimulated, prey are easy pickings. After making their way though several layers of executives at the bank, with destructive, and lucrative, results, they approach Christophe, scion to the bank director. What they don't know is that Christophe is a manipulative voyeur, whose last two lovers set themselves on fire when he rejected them. A connoisseur of high-class orgies, Christophe is only interested in new talent to satisfy the appetites of all whom he controls. In Christophe, the girls have found an opponent who knows all their wiles, and will challenge their simple under-class friendship with levels of jealousy and ecstasy that they have never experienced before. Will they survive?

I don't think I'm imagining things when I say this sounds like the plot of 90% of all pornos. But maybe I'm wrong; I'll have to consult with my friend Gary, the porn expert, about such matters. But anyway, with a plot like that, and a trailer filled with sexy French women, what's not to like?

The trailer begins with the two women taking off their clothes from underneath the long trenchcoats they're wearing, and then proceeding to walk around outside and talk about how exciting it is to do this. Already, the trailer is off to a great start. Sadly, the middle part of the trailer slows down a little, as it tries to show the very beginning of a sensual sex scene; however, the scene is too dark to see much of anything--if the porn industry has taught us nothing else, it's that lighting is key--and takes too long to get started. And then by the time anything actually happens, the trailer cuts to a different scene--namely, where a woman is taking off her clothes, trying to seduce some random guy in an office while his door is still open and people are walking around in the hallway. Good stuff.

Finally, the last segment of the trailer shows the two women feverently making out in a closet with the door ajar, while some doofus stands there staring, mouth agape. This lasts for a good little while, until the trailer finally ends with the inviting words "coming soon." God, I love double entendres.

Anyway, I'm not really sure what else there is to say about this trailer, except go watch it now. It's pretty hot stuff, and proves that the only difference between pornos and foreign films is the lighting and (sometimes) the acting. As long as you don't think about it too deeply, it's a very enjoyable ride, and very deserving of a 4-star score.